Hi Miriam I hope you can relax in the final few days before the conference. I hope you can appreciate what a wonderful thing it is to be providing such a warm welcoming space for women confused/ questioning their sexuality or further along that journey but wanting to connect with like minded others. It’s HUGE! What you’ve created is so fabulous, I hope you can relax and enjoy the next few days safe in the knowledge that it will all be fine. You’ve done the hard work, everything is in place.
I think of the incredible moment your conference advert reel appeared in my Instagram feed on a Sunday night when I was pondering so much big sexuality stuff with noone to talk to about it except very loving straight friends who can’t really help! I think of it as the Universe offering me a big helping hand.
This will be transformational for some people there so please don’t underestimate that in your understandable stress about the final bits. Thank you Miriam ☺️
I hope you’ve relaxed and reflected on the wonderful conference you arranged Miriam. Your opening was so perfect for setting the tone of safety & belonging and lack of judgement for the decisions made that meant we were there as later in life lesbians & gay women. I felt so much warmth in that room. And acceptance. I’ve found it hard to feel like I would belong in gay/queer women’s spaces because I’ve felt ashamed of not being authentic earlier in life. You helped by addressing that head on.
Taking about ‘shame based families’ helped me open up a whole new area and reflect on painful memories from my childhood. I was adopted and I’m starting to understand the impact of adoption and coming out later in life. As a child I didn’t feel I truly belonged in my adoptive family; I felt my place was conditional on being a good girl. I didn’t feel I was truly ‘theirs’, more like they’d sort of borrowed me but might get tired of me and hand me back. So being good was survival in that situation. So many decisions I made were through a lens of “what do they want me to do and be”? I’ve lived in a chameleon type mode. I’d love to hear from other adopted women, whether they felt similar or not, just to explore that aspect.
The women sharing their stories at the conference were so moving and courageous. Thank you Miriam for creating such a powerful, loving space for all of us. It was such a special day.
“What an incredible experience! The Later in Life Lesbian conference was empowering, joyful, and honestly—life-changing. Being surrounded by such brave, beautiful, and authentic women was pure magic. Every story shared hit home, and I left feeling more seen, inspired, and connected than ever before. Huge shoutout to Miriam and Finn—you two were absolute stars! Your energy, wisdom, and warmth made the whole event unforgettable. Already counting down to the next one.
Great! The power of sharing stories should not be underestimated. Connection and community – this is where healing takes place. I’m delighted to have facilitated the opportunity for you to find connection and community.
Thank you so much for putting on this event. It was an amazing feeling to be in that room knowing everyone in there had so much in common. The feeling was just great. I really enjoyed hearing the authors talk and the on the couch session. I would have loved to see what was happening in the other workshops too as I wanted to do all of them.
Miriam and Finn you put on a fab day and if you ever do it again, I will be there!
Weren’t the authors just fab?! I’ve have books by all of them, because the authenticity of the fictional characters or the lived experience of the non-fiction books, all help with this sense of resonance, of sharing, of community.
I am most struck by the courage of Christina Fonthes, who has clearly used fiction to help us learn about one of the aspects of the whole coming out experience, which is that in some people’s lives, intersectional oppression adds to the trauma of coming out.
Coming out is not easy, even in 2025. CONTEXT matters and this is what is reflected in the later-in-life lesbian experience.
There is always a reason, there’s no such thing as “late”, we make the best decisions for our mental and physical wellbeing that we can at the time, given the context.
Still taking it all in, to be honest. Feeling really emotional and so moved by the whole day. The conference was such a unique and incredible experience…..it’s hard to put into words just how much it meant.
There was something so powerful about being in a space where everyone just got it. There was a real sense of safety and belonging for me, and I know the ripples of this amazing day are going to be felt in my life for a long while yet!
Massive thanks to Miriam and Finn for creating something so special. thanks to the experts, the authors and to all the brave and beautiful women who spoke so openly and allowed us to share in their journey.
This one response makes it all worth it to me. I’m keen to give you, to give the me of ten years ago, to give as many people as possible this experience. It doesn’t solve our problems, but it helps us feel less alone and to remember how strong we are.
Really amazed that the mystery guest was Emily Chappell. I used to be a keen cyclist in London tho not brave enough to be a despatch rider. I have ordered her first book and will read it keenly.
Excellent conference, I hope there will be more. Nice to have an event within easy travelling distance of home. Really pleased that lots of meaningful conversations were had.
Must have been hard work juggling all the different strands, well done to all involved. And thank you.
That’s so exciting! I’m glad that was a good surprise and I hope that as Emily now lives locally, we might be able to hear more from her in future!
I’ve got the first book too, and am really looking forward to reading it. Emily demonstrated “the lesbian head nod” to me and gave me the giggles so I’m hoping for more of that side of her in the book ha ha!
It was obvious that so much effort and time and love had been invested to create the conference.
I was grateful for the space to connect with some women I’d met before, some I’d only met online and new women.
I did the workshop with Sunny and although it took me out of my comfort zone I enjoyed it – I’ve been doing my own laughter yoga today.
I enjoyed hearing from new-to-me authors and look forward to reading their books. Especially the one I won. Thanks for that!
It was an emotional day with vulnerabilities exposed and a lot of trust placed by those who told their stories. It was a privilege to be part of that.
I left feeling uplifted and empowered by community.
You travelled a long way! New books, new people, what more can you want? Except a good rest and time to let it all percolate. I’m so glad you came and wished we could’ve had some more time. See you soon I hope!
utterly profound. still processing it. highlight of the day was Finn talking about being out in the 80s and 90s. i was too (well in and out! did try to marry a nice jewish man etc) but so wildly cathartic to hear her speak about what one does with the pain of all that. i mean it’s obviously incredible that things have changed but there’s so much to get your ahead around when you’ve come of age in one world and then are an adult and a parent in another. what to do with all of it?! it’s quite bittersweet. also i heard this phrase ‘shame-based family’ for the first time when miriam mentioned and that unlocked A LOT! I could go on! a wonderful day. thank you.
Yes, most of the women I help come from Shame-based families and I’ve written a lot about this in my book. Also happy to say more in the discussion groups and other online support I offer if you can’t wait till the 2026 publication. It was lovely for Finn to have that feedback as she was very brave and we both believe it’s so important to understand this so that we can understand people coming out later or that those coming out earlier might be still traumatised. I absolutely agree that things might have changed in the world but our internal world is the 60s, 70s, 80s, 90s – our developing years. Keep in touch and keep asking. The discussion group (bi-monthly) has topics chosen by YOU. Tomorrow’s is about online relationships and long distance relationships. Book via my website blue-skies.org.uk
And you can also listen to more of Finn’s life story on this site – home page – episode 16.
Really grateful to Miriam for pulling together such an informative, inclusive and inspiring day. Laughter and tears. Thank you to all, especially those who bravely shared their stories.
This was my first time in a queer women only space and it felt like home. Thank you Miriam for creating this, for opening with a talk that let us drop into the space immediately, for the sharing of experiences, a great choice of workshops, brilliant authors and new books – just perfect. Thank you 😊 🙏
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Hi Miriam I hope you can relax in the final few days before the conference. I hope you can appreciate what a wonderful thing it is to be providing such a warm welcoming space for women confused/ questioning their sexuality or further along that journey but wanting to connect with like minded others. It’s HUGE! What you’ve created is so fabulous, I hope you can relax and enjoy the next few days safe in the knowledge that it will all be fine. You’ve done the hard work, everything is in place.
I think of the incredible moment your conference advert reel appeared in my Instagram feed on a Sunday night when I was pondering so much big sexuality stuff with noone to talk to about it except very loving straight friends who can’t really help! I think of it as the Universe offering me a big helping hand.
This will be transformational for some people there so please don’t underestimate that in your understandable stress about the final bits. Thank you Miriam ☺️
Thank you for your support before the day and during. I needed help and you gave it. Thank you 🙂
I hope you’ve relaxed and reflected on the wonderful conference you arranged Miriam. Your opening was so perfect for setting the tone of safety & belonging and lack of judgement for the decisions made that meant we were there as later in life lesbians & gay women. I felt so much warmth in that room. And acceptance. I’ve found it hard to feel like I would belong in gay/queer women’s spaces because I’ve felt ashamed of not being authentic earlier in life. You helped by addressing that head on.
Taking about ‘shame based families’ helped me open up a whole new area and reflect on painful memories from my childhood. I was adopted and I’m starting to understand the impact of adoption and coming out later in life. As a child I didn’t feel I truly belonged in my adoptive family; I felt my place was conditional on being a good girl. I didn’t feel I was truly ‘theirs’, more like they’d sort of borrowed me but might get tired of me and hand me back. So being good was survival in that situation. So many decisions I made were through a lens of “what do they want me to do and be”? I’ve lived in a chameleon type mode. I’d love to hear from other adopted women, whether they felt similar or not, just to explore that aspect.
The women sharing their stories at the conference were so moving and courageous. Thank you Miriam for creating such a powerful, loving space for all of us. It was such a special day.
Thanks for an amazing day and all the thoughtfulness and care that went into it ❤️
Reading your response gives me a wave of satisfaction and contentment. Thank you.
“What an incredible experience! The Later in Life Lesbian conference was empowering, joyful, and honestly—life-changing. Being surrounded by such brave, beautiful, and authentic women was pure magic. Every story shared hit home, and I left feeling more seen, inspired, and connected than ever before. Huge shoutout to Miriam and Finn—you two were absolute stars! Your energy, wisdom, and warmth made the whole event unforgettable. Already counting down to the next one.
Great! The power of sharing stories should not be underestimated. Connection and community – this is where healing takes place. I’m delighted to have facilitated the opportunity for you to find connection and community.
Thank you so much for putting on this event. It was an amazing feeling to be in that room knowing everyone in there had so much in common. The feeling was just great. I really enjoyed hearing the authors talk and the on the couch session. I would have loved to see what was happening in the other workshops too as I wanted to do all of them.
Miriam and Finn you put on a fab day and if you ever do it again, I will be there!
Weren’t the authors just fab?! I’ve have books by all of them, because the authenticity of the fictional characters or the lived experience of the non-fiction books, all help with this sense of resonance, of sharing, of community.
I am most struck by the courage of Christina Fonthes, who has clearly used fiction to help us learn about one of the aspects of the whole coming out experience, which is that in some people’s lives, intersectional oppression adds to the trauma of coming out.
Coming out is not easy, even in 2025. CONTEXT matters and this is what is reflected in the later-in-life lesbian experience.
There is always a reason, there’s no such thing as “late”, we make the best decisions for our mental and physical wellbeing that we can at the time, given the context.
Still taking it all in, to be honest. Feeling really emotional and so moved by the whole day. The conference was such a unique and incredible experience…..it’s hard to put into words just how much it meant.
There was something so powerful about being in a space where everyone just got it. There was a real sense of safety and belonging for me, and I know the ripples of this amazing day are going to be felt in my life for a long while yet!
Massive thanks to Miriam and Finn for creating something so special. thanks to the experts, the authors and to all the brave and beautiful women who spoke so openly and allowed us to share in their journey.
This one response makes it all worth it to me. I’m keen to give you, to give the me of ten years ago, to give as many people as possible this experience. It doesn’t solve our problems, but it helps us feel less alone and to remember how strong we are.
Really amazed that the mystery guest was Emily Chappell. I used to be a keen cyclist in London tho not brave enough to be a despatch rider. I have ordered her first book and will read it keenly.
Excellent conference, I hope there will be more. Nice to have an event within easy travelling distance of home. Really pleased that lots of meaningful conversations were had.
Must have been hard work juggling all the different strands, well done to all involved. And thank you.
That’s so exciting! I’m glad that was a good surprise and I hope that as Emily now lives locally, we might be able to hear more from her in future!
I’ve got the first book too, and am really looking forward to reading it. Emily demonstrated “the lesbian head nod” to me and gave me the giggles so I’m hoping for more of that side of her in the book ha ha!
It was obvious that so much effort and time and love had been invested to create the conference.
I was grateful for the space to connect with some women I’d met before, some I’d only met online and new women.
I did the workshop with Sunny and although it took me out of my comfort zone I enjoyed it – I’ve been doing my own laughter yoga today.
I enjoyed hearing from new-to-me authors and look forward to reading their books. Especially the one I won. Thanks for that!
It was an emotional day with vulnerabilities exposed and a lot of trust placed by those who told their stories. It was a privilege to be part of that.
I left feeling uplifted and empowered by community.
You travelled a long way! New books, new people, what more can you want? Except a good rest and time to let it all percolate. I’m so glad you came and wished we could’ve had some more time. See you soon I hope!
utterly profound. still processing it. highlight of the day was Finn talking about being out in the 80s and 90s. i was too (well in and out! did try to marry a nice jewish man etc) but so wildly cathartic to hear her speak about what one does with the pain of all that. i mean it’s obviously incredible that things have changed but there’s so much to get your ahead around when you’ve come of age in one world and then are an adult and a parent in another. what to do with all of it?! it’s quite bittersweet. also i heard this phrase ‘shame-based family’ for the first time when miriam mentioned and that unlocked A LOT! I could go on! a wonderful day. thank you.
Yes, most of the women I help come from Shame-based families and I’ve written a lot about this in my book. Also happy to say more in the discussion groups and other online support I offer if you can’t wait till the 2026 publication. It was lovely for Finn to have that feedback as she was very brave and we both believe it’s so important to understand this so that we can understand people coming out later or that those coming out earlier might be still traumatised. I absolutely agree that things might have changed in the world but our internal world is the 60s, 70s, 80s, 90s – our developing years. Keep in touch and keep asking. The discussion group (bi-monthly) has topics chosen by YOU. Tomorrow’s is about online relationships and long distance relationships. Book via my website blue-skies.org.uk
And you can also listen to more of Finn’s life story on this site – home page – episode 16.
Really grateful to Miriam for pulling together such an informative, inclusive and inspiring day. Laughter and tears. Thank you to all, especially those who bravely shared their stories.
This was my first time in a queer women only space and it felt like home. Thank you Miriam for creating this, for opening with a talk that let us drop into the space immediately, for the sharing of experiences, a great choice of workshops, brilliant authors and new books – just perfect. Thank you 😊 🙏
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